Helping children deal with the Coronavirus.

by Jill Linden Ph.D.

1. How worried and upset children get about the coronavirus depends partly on the adults around them. If you can stay calm, and realistic about the danger, it will help your child.

2. Because of coronavirus, most schools are closed and parents’ schedules
disrupted. It will help your child deal with this if you can keep the rest
of your child’s life as normal as possible.

3. Being cooped up indoors can be difficult for everybody. When weather
permits. try to find some way for your kids to get outdoors every day.
Going to a playground is not a good idea. Taking a walk away from other
people should be fine. If you see people you know, wave but keep your
distance. They will understand.

4. Staying in the house all or most of the day means less physical
activity than usual for most people. If outdoor activity won’t work
foryour family, you could dance or exercise with T.V. programs or DVDs.

5. Phone or email people you know who live alone. It will help them feel
less isolated. A few words from your child may really brighten the day of
an older person. Find out if there is something that person needs that
you can provide.

6. Some activities help children talk together without the talking seeming
forced. This could be a good time for you and your child to cook or bake
together. Doing jigsaw puzzles or craft projects together could also
facilitate talking.

7. Young children may get angry at their parents when the children cannot
get their favorite foods, or go where they want to go. They may think that
parents are all-powerful and are intentionally withholding what the kids
want. Explain briefly and try to get them interested in something else.

8. In stressful times, children (and adults) may eat more than they
should, and more unhealthy food than they should. You might want to put a
bowl of fresh fruit where it is easily seen and tell kids they can help
themselves. Raisins and popcorn are other healthy snacks that most
children like.

9. Feeling anxious may make it difficult for children to fall asleep. Be
sure that bedrooms are quiet, dark and cool. Try to use whatever helps
your child relax. That might include a bath, soothing music, tucking a
blanket tightly around the child, you reading a story to the child, the
child reading in bed, or watching a nature movie. Even an older child
might like tucked covers or being read to.

10. Helping others makes most children (and adults) feel good. You could
suggest that your child write a letter or draw a picture for a
grandparentor another person who would appreciate it.

11. Be an example to your child of creative problem- solving about food. If
you can’t find a favorite food, try a couple of similar, but slightly
different, foods. Or if you can get the ingredients, cook or bake a
favorite from scratch.

12. Sometimes a parent must take a child along when grocery shopping. If
there is only a small number of an item available, don’t take them all.
Leave at least one or two on the shelf and explain that it is important to
be nice to the next person who wants it. Demonstrating kindness gives a
more powerful message than just talking about it.

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13. Stressful times call for comfort foods but try to set a good example
for your child. A child who sees a parent eating potato chips will want
some too. Instead, you could try baking frozen french fries in the oven
until they are very crisp.

14. Be careful not to call it the “Chinese virus”. Coronavirus likely
started with an animal in China but that animal might have been anywhere
in the world. No person caused it.

15. Use of electronic devices and social media can help kids feel less
isolated and more connected with friends. However, it can also fuel
anxiety and exchange of false information. Try to talk with children about
what they are learning and doing on their computers and phones, and decide if limitations or corrections are called for.

16. Children may get unusually upset about something that seems
insignificant and would not usually bother them. They may not realize that
being “on edge” about the coronavirus is causing thiis. You could say
something like “we can get more upset about little things because of
worrying about the coronavirus”.

17 Until there is certainty, do not give kids a date on which they can go
back to school or resume other activities. Although a tentative date may
be announced, there is too much chance that such a date will be changed.

18. Children who have birthdays during the isolation time should get a
smaller family celebration on the birth date and assurance that they can
have a larger party later.

19. Do not assume that you know exactly what your child is afraid of. Ask,
listen, and then explain. Too much or too complicated information can be
worse than too little. You can always add more later.

20. Young children may presume that their life will always be as it
currently is. You should assure them that it will get better, even though
you can’t tell them when .

21. Try to arrange it so that each member of the household has some
private time and space away from the rest of the family. If your physical
space is limited, you can rotate who is in the private space. Too much
togetherness can lead to squabbling and bad feelings.

22. When days are mostly the same, it is easy to lose track of the day and
date. You can help this by crossing off each day, as it ends, on a
calendar. You might also want to put a few words on each calendar square
about what was special about that day. Your child then has a reminder of
how long ago it was when she took a long walk, watched a special movie, or
ate a certain food.

23. Try to keep what’s in your living space clean and well organized. It
is upsetting enough for children that the world outside their apartment or
house has changed so much and is unpredictable. It makes it worse if they
can’t find a toy they want or if they can’t wear the shirt they want to
wear because it hasn’t been laundered.

24. Now that many family members have more time together at home, they
may tackle tasks that take longer or are more difficult than usual. If
children are involved, Try to mak this as pleasant and unfrustrating as
possible by breaking down the project into steps that children can
complete successfully.

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davidzvaisberg Written by:

David Vaisberg, originally from Montreal and Mississauga, Canada, serves as Senior Rabbi at Temple B'nai Abraham in Livingston, NJ and lives in Maplewood, NJ with his family.

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