Gray is good

Human beings are quite good at binary thinking. Things need to be black and white, good and bad. Though many of us have made a cozy home in gray relativity, when push comes to shove, it’s often easier to get that simple, straight answer. Yes or no?

Religion is frequently treated in the same way. In Israel, the Jewish denominational names—Reform, Reconstructionist, etc.— are rare terms in everyday language. When considering your place in the Jewish spectrum, Israelis are inclined to choose between da’ati (religious) or chiloni (secular). As an often casually-dressed man outside the walls of our Temple, were it not for the kippah I bear, your average Yossi might come to the certainly-erroneous conclusion that I am in fact chiloni.

While here in America many more words do exist in our treasury of words for Jewishness, we are often guilty of thinking in this Israeli manner. “I’m part of the synagogue, but I’m not that religious.” “I show up for my kids, or my community, or [God-forbid] out of good ol’ Jewish guilt. In my heart though, I really don’t know if I even believe in God!”

Believe it or not, we all sometimes feel this way. We all [myself included] question our religiosity and connection. To fall into the religious/secular binary is a mistake however, as to do so discounts the little revelations we have in the midst of our daily hustle, no matter how small they may be.

Rabbi Joseph Soloveitchik teaches us that there are two “Adams”— two types that exist in this world, in each person. One is interested in “why the cosmos exists at all and what message it carries.” This Adam is one who seeks community and intimate relationships— with people, and with God (Soloveitchik, Lonely Man of Faith, p. x)
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We all have times where we look at the world in wonderment, and we certainly all have times where we seek companionship and love. It seems then, that we all have moments, hopefully on a regular basis, that could be arguably considered religious. How about that?

This holiday season, don’t let yourself off the hook because “you’re not religious enough.” Join us at the Temple Emanu-El, and find some time in community and fellowship. Take a chance, abandon self-judgment and restraint, and see if you might have that special experience in the midst of your day.

It’s never all-or-nothing. In the wonderful world of gray, every moment can be religious. It’s all a matter of perspective.

(Printed in Kolaynu of September 2013 — Temple Emanu-El of Edison, NJ’s newsletter)